Funny Signs around the Country
New material is added to the bottom of this page. | |
Yes, you are, if they're bringing you here! (The Amigone family operates twelve funeral homes in and around Buffalo, New York.) |
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It's a good deal, but . . . oh, the college costs! (Taken by Rob Strain near Omaha, Nebraska.) |
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So, how do you get there from here? | |
I think I'll keep driving! (In Independence, Missouri.) |
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Sometimes a name change is the best idea. | |
Take me to the cleaners, baby! | |
The honking cars behind me won't bother you? (McLogic near New Hartford, Connecticut.) |
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What part of ONLY don't they understand? (In Kansas City, Missouri.) |
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Enough said... | |
We is well-educated! | |
Wasn't it though? | |
Authors: Mentioned where known / Contributor: Dick Miller |
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Susan Lister (RIP) sent these without photographic verification but they sound so familiar they must have occurred somewhere. | |
1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. | |
2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere else again. | |
3. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included. | |
4. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. | |
5. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. | |
6. Stock up and save. Limit: one. | |
7. Semi-annual After-Christmas sale. | |
8. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. | |
9. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating. | |
10. Dinner special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. | |
11. For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. | |
12. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home. | |
13. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. | |
14. Great dames for sale. | |
15. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. | |
16. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. | |
17. Vacation special: have your home exterminated. | |
18. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours. | |
19. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast. | |
20. For rent: 6-room hated apartment. | |
21. Man, honest. Will take anything. | |
22. Used cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first. | |
23. Christmas tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard to find person. | |
24. Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential. | |
25. Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. | |
26. And now, the Superstore—unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. | |
27. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00. | |
More from Susan Lister (RIP) Signs of Our Times | |
On a septic tank truck in Oregon: | Yesterday's Meals on Wheels |
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: | Invite Us To Your Next Blowout |
On a plumber's truck: | We Repair What Your Husband Fixed |
On a plastic surgeon's office door: | Hello! Can We Pick Your Nose? |
At a towing company: | We don't charge an arm and a leg. We just want your tows. |
On an electrician's truck: | Let Us Remove Your Shorts |
On a maternity room door: | Push. Push. Push! |
At an optometrist's office: | If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. |
On a taxidermist's window: | We Really Know Our Stuff |
In a podiatrist's office: | Time Wounds All Heels. |
Outside a muffler shop: | No appointment necessary. We hear you coming. |
In a veterinarian's waiting room: | Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay! |
At the electric company: | We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be. |
At a propane filling station: | Thank Heaven for Little Grills |