If Morty put as much time in writing as he puts into finding ways to avoid writing, people would read his work and forget John Grisham. But the whole point of computers is that they do things for us, so why shouldn't they write for us? Below is a list of web pages that will write for you. Even if you don't submit the output of these pages as your own work, you will enjoy playing with them.
- alphaDictionary's Buzzomatic Memo Writer • Why waste your time keeping up with the latest terminology in the ever-changing world of technology? Just click four buttons and alphaDictionary will apply the latest buzzology to whip out a stunning memo for you in as many seconds.
- Postmodernist Scholarship Writer • Why waste your time writing brilliant and penetrating articles on the post-Modernist world when no one understands them anyway? Here is a website that will write an original piece every time you refresh the page. You have millions of variants to choose from but why choose—collect them all and publish a book. For lazy students and professors alike.
- Country Song Writer • Now that you have a guitar, this page is all you need to make it to the Grand Ol' Opry! You know the music and the stories that go along with it are pretty much the same. All you need is a computer that will shuffle the words around a little and the folks down South will love you. (If you still want to write your own, click here for inspiration.)
- Band Name Generator • OK, now that you have your songs you need a name for your band. Since stupid names rule, what better way to create one than a random word generator. Here is the best in the business.
- Automatic Complaint Writer • Do you ever get the feeling that your complaints fall on deaf ears? So why waste a lot of time writing up complaints. Scott Pakin has encyclopedized them all and offers them all to you for free.
- Shakespearean Insult Generator • Are Pakin's complaints too mild or low-brow for you? Then you might want the more straightforward though appropriately pedantic insults created by none other than William Shakespeare. Insults from a superior intelligence sting more.
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- You would probably like our Laughing Stock. • Jokes, tongue-twisters, spoonerisms, sniglets, just to mention a few of the interesting wordplay features there.
- Our Rebel-Yankee Test will tickle you pink! • It has had that effect on more than 2,500,000 people. PBS Morning Edition and other radio and TV stations have done features about it. Don't get left behind!
- Dr. Goodword's Glossary of Quaint Southernisms will give you lots of chuckles. •
If you enjoyed the Rebel-Yankee test, you will probably enjoy these linguistic differences between North and South.
- What's the Good Word Today? • Are you building your vocabulary with the best word-of-the-day feature on the Web? We select an interesting word and tell you all about it: how to say it, what it means, where it comes from, and how to use it.
- Dr. Goodword's Office • Start out here to find all the educational resources on alphaDictionary: phobias, misspelled words, and confused words quizzes, articles about language, FAQs, and more.
- What are people saying about the Rebel-Yankee Test? • We have assembled some of your comments to share with you.
- Discuss accents and dialects with others. • Now you can talk with others who have taken our test about your accent and theirs. You might want to talk about other topics, too, at our Alpha Agora.
- Slinging Slang from the Flappers to the Rappers • This is our new test that picks your generation by the slang you use (or used). Don't miss our historical slang dictionary, that gives you the slang and the decade it comes from.
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